Grace Gifts

Ella's prescription for contentment:

• Never allow yourself to complain about anything— not even the weather
• Never picture yourself in any other circumstances or someplace else
• Never compare your lot with another's
• Never allow yourself to wish this or that had been otherwise
• Never dwell on tomorrow— remember that tomorrow is God's, not ours.  

— Linda Doillow, Calm My Anxious Heart

Several months ago I wrote a blog post about Ann Voskamp— farmer's wife, mother of six, writer, lover of Jesus. Ann's blog has had a profound impact on my life, for many reasons. It gives me the chance to stop and breathe, to listen and wait, to ruminate on time spent and love given and worship in the every day living. Her words turn my heart back to the Father God, the One who knows my inner workings and outward walkings better than any other being. Her blog is all about seeking peace and beauty in the midst of the our busy lives— about seeking and finding Christ.

Awhile ago, Ann began a list of One Thousand Things, daily gifts from God, daily displays of His loving watchcare for His children, daily gifts of grace. What started as a simple list turned into a heart attitude, and then into a Gratitude Community, a group of individuals also committed to listening for God's whispers of love and His hand of grace extended.

I have taken up this challenge, and I am watching my heart change.

When doubt and discouragement flood my soul, I read through my list of Grace Gifts again. I read moments of frustration set down and grace accepted. I read joy and smiled at the memories. I read steadfastness and character, and patience has its perfect work.

And the list goes on:

1. Rain that makes sunshine all the more welcome.
2. Christmas shopping in the snow.
3. Maple apple cider.
4. The gentle humsong of words received and given.
5. Grey blanketed skies.
6. Scarves from friends.
7. Starlings in flight.
8. Fluffy white lapdogs that turn into a gift of grace.
9. Quiet retreat.
10. Blue skies.
11. Bare branches and a bared soul.
12. Chenille throws.
13. Whistling tea kettles.
14. Morning coffee.
15. Cold air and a warm blanket.
16. Birds singing.
17. Shooting and editing newborn sessions.
18. Time with friends, talking heart-to-heart.
19. There are few things sweeter than baby noises.
20. Crispy fried garlic.
21. Rainy Sundays.
22. Knee socks and thermal shirts.
23. The cup of God's wrath— emptied.
24. God's pleasure— in me
25.  Paper, ink, glue, & inspiration. 
26. The washing of the Word.
27. Finding joy in coming and going, and in the space in between
28. Cotton fields in December.
29. Bare trees in cold mist… breathless beauty in death. Oh my soul, learn from what you see.
30. Dawn. Blue clouds and golden light. 
31. Mist rising off a gentle river.
32. Hopes and fears— met in Christ.
33. Rainbows bursting through early-morning mist. Faithfulness and lovingkindness on display.
34. Spanish moss.
35. A Mom who is also my best friend.
36. Adventures in Florida with Mom. Actually, adventures anywhere with Mom.
37. Elsie's "morning hugs."
38. Tungsten light bulbs.
39. Wireless Internet.
40. Orange spice candles and Christmas tea.
41. Snow on the ground, in the trees, in the air.
42. Hot coffee, warm socks, and a family that cares.
43. Grace bestowed, received, shared.
44. Blue skies and snowy fields.
45. Brothers to shovel the driveway.
46. Watching a warm sky sunset over cold snow.
47. Family together in the kitchen. 
48. Loud, off-key singing that tunes my heart to Christ.
49. Soft tissues.
50. Friends that play piano.
51. Truth spoken by Sara Groves, invading my quiet thoughts.
52. "There is hope for your future," declares the Lord. 
53. Grace— pressed down, overflowing, overwhelming.
54. The Cross— conduit of grace, covering sin, healing what is broken.
55. Sun-lit rooms.
56. Antique books with well-worn pages.
57. Earl Grey tea in a warm corner.
58. Quiet introspection and forward-looking thoughts.
59. Sleepless night.
60. Whistling tea kettle.
61. Grace finding me where she left me— still in need of more.
62. Morning sunlight through lace.
63. "Going Home" by Sara Groves playing on my heart when I wake.
64. Clean water.
65. Coffee from Thailand within reach of my fingertips.
66. The Word of God, washing over my soul.
67. Argyle socks.
68. A corner chair and afternoon sunlight
69. Moleskine journals and black ink pens.
70. Truth in song.
71. Afternoon coffee in a pottery mug.
72. The Amplified Bible.
73. Christ's wounds healing mine.
74. Work, an expression of God's faithful provision.
75. Apples and good cheese.
76. Waking up in my own bed after days elsewhere, remembering what it means to have a home.
77. Brothers that love Jesus, and make me love Him more.
78. Little brothers that bring me fresh-baked cookies during work.
79. Working in my pjs.
80. Drinking water from a mason jar.
81. Losing lists and finding them again.
82. Mother and sister who love Jesus, and who go to their knees for me and with me.
83. Gray skies that hold promise.
84. The texture of life.
85. The ebb and flow of love.
86. Norah Jones and Bob Marley playing in the coffee shop.
87. Excel spreadsheets
88. Siblings who make fun of my hiccups. 
89. Qeddings, weddings, weddings— a picture of God's covenant with His people, a time of worship and celebration, and God's provision for my financial needs.
90. The Word of God that covers my pain, and reminds me to forgive and love others when they hurt me.
91. Cold seeping in from the floor and traveling up my legs… and the warmth of a bed to crawl into.
92. Friends that know, that understand, and even if they don't, will support and encourage, anyway.
93. Snow that reminds me of grace— gently falling, swiftly falling, covering all of our insufficiency with untouched purity.
94. Snow that gives Dad a rare Saturday home from work.
95. Brothers absorbed in books, not video games.
96. The gentle hum of Mom's sewing machine in the room above my head.
97. The delicate flavors and warmth of Darjeeling tea.
98. Home— worship with one sister, hugs from another. Hand sewing under warm blankets. Chili in the crock pot, a fire in the wood stove. Flannel pjs. Sweet peace, sweet love. HOME.
99. Oswald Chambers words ringing out from a blog post I wrote nine months ago.
100. My sister's courtship that reminds me of my need for Christ.
101. That my life hasn't turned out as I expected, and that God doesn't give me what I assume He will.
102. Parents who guard and protect my heart.
103. Piles of snow, piles of grace.
104. Walking through my own Narnia on a Sunday morning.
105. Sleepless nights because of excitement.
106. Waking up to find myself praying for friends.
107. Joy comes in the morning.
108. A God who hears, and holds, and understands, and acts.Family time by candle light, reminding me that we love each other deeply.French press coffee made from snow water.
109. Breakfast cooked on a wood stove.
110. Oswald Chambers, reminding me of truth.
111. Uncertainties that prove God's loving care over my heart."Fireflies and Songs," by Sara Groves
112. Decaf tea before bed
113. Sweet, hard truth covered in sweet, firm grace.
114. Being at the DTC. Running my hands over doors and walls that I once knew. Realizing that I don't want this anymore. Recognizing this is part of my history, and I have grown past it.
115. Paper and ink and quiet thoughts on a quiet night.
116. Teaching others how to see.
117. Listening to wealthy ladies speak about their lives, and realizing, once again, that Christ satisfies more than money.
118. Norah Jones and a little bit of turbulence on an airplane.
119. "Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints" isn't limited to physical death. My death to self is precious, too.
120. "Every new duty calls for more grace than I now possess, but not more than is found in Christ." — Valley of Vision
121. Twelve-year-old brothers and cowboy jokes. Laughing at things I once thought funny.
122. 19,000 images in the last twelve months. 19,000 attempted grasps at beauty. 19,000 shutters opening and closing again, letting in just enough light. 19,000.
123. Riding in Mandy's Mini Cooper.
124. Getting lost with Mandy in her Mini Cooper.
125. My Texas family— being with them, hugging them, laughing with them, watching movies with them.
126. Watching (and laughing at) my friends in love.
127. Big open skies at sunset.
128. Bright stars and the promise of tomorrow.
129. The Valley of Vision, and all the truth it speaks.
130. Dad's commitment to Gospel-centered living within our family, and the way that he guides our hearts back to Jesus.
131. Warm sunlight creeping in beneath my door.
132. Peace about new places. Joy about the possibilities. 
133. Words of truth, notes in harmony, my sisters voice and a congregation's soul joined with mine. Sunday morning worship.
134. Joy in the news of relationships beginning. 
135. A family that laughs and talks and loves together.
136. Vintage-inspired heels.
137. Text conversations that turn into phone conversations.
138. Words of truth and affirmation spoken in Christ-centered love.
139. Questions and answers, stories and silence, awkward moments and learning to converse with comfort.
140. Waking moments soaked in prayer. Thoughts that come and crowd and recede in silence. Growth inside and fear inside, and Christ covers all.
141. Learning how to communicate… doing it well, and doing it poorly. 
142. Coffee with God first thing on the morning of my birth. Tears over sin and failings. Grace received and the Gospel spoken.
143. Counting 25 years of live and 20 years as God's child. Recalling steadfast love and faithfulness.  
144. Entering new chapters and closing the door on old ones. Running my hands down the roots and bark of my own history… and finding abundant grace there, as well.
145. Knowing that Christ's love is more important than any other thing
146. Sibling in their awkward stages. 
147. The sound of voices cracking and changing, and laughter learning to adjust to its new decibel. 
148. Friends that help me celebrate my birthday. Knowing that this year will be my best yet.
149. Hyperion's americanos. Always the same, always delicious, always perfect.
150. Blue skies and sunshine. The hope of a swift and warm Spring right around the corner.
151. Brother made me breakfast because he knew I needed it.
152. Mom's sweet, firm words confronting the pride inside of me. 
153. Learning to walk humbly with people as I learn to walk humbly with God.
154. Playing hide-n-seek with Jedi while sitting in front of my laptop. 
155. Seeing my once-had-dreams on a silver platter, and realizing with joy that God has changed my heart. My desires are not what they once were. 
156. Brothers baking cookies. Half the flour, twice the butter… lots of napkins.
157. Spending an evening at a coffee shop, running my hands along the walls of my soul, looking for the last time I remember putting my wrestled-with-growth into words.
158. Out-of-the-blue phone calls from good friends.  
159. The soul's growth knows neither rhyme nor reason, but rests securely in the hands of a tender Father, Lord, and Lover. He has led me well.
160. The couch in my office that invites retreat.
161. The lack of words is not the lack of thought. "In quietness and confidence shall be your strength." —Is. 30:15
162. Listening to Dad teach the kids about Lent.
163. Dad's hand on my head, bathing me in prayer.
164. Tears to wash away the pain and filth of sin. Mercies new every morning.
165. Wide open windows.  Sparrows practice their melodies with bird-song joy. Blue skies chase clouds under a warming sun. Spring is promised.
166. Taxes to remind me of responsibility. 
167. Desire that proves my weaknesses. I am not as strong as I think I am.
168. Dad's day off work. The chance to talk over coffee in the middle of the day.
169. Hearing the ring of a brother's hammer against nail into wood, pounding and building and creating. Feeling the echo of that hammer in my heart, praying that Truth would pound and pierce deep into the flesh of my heart. Hit me hard, Father.
170. Crazy, chaotic schedules that, once again, prove my desperate need for grace.
171. Self-glimpse days that show my idolatrousness. My heart, it betrays me, but shows my need for Christ. It is a good day to me when Thou gives me a glimpse of myself.— Valley of Vision
172. Sunshine days that follow rain.
173. Space heaters and fuzzy socks.
174. New journals. New lessons. New space to live and breathe and explore.
175. Love hurts.
176. Hamburgers with sautéed garlic, mushrooms, and tomatoes. 
177. Bridesmaid dresses that make me feel beautiful.
178. Mom's two-week absence that reminded me just how much I need her here.
179. Seeing all of my inadequacies and remembering with joy that Christ is sufficient for my insufficiencies.
180. Resurrection Sunday— all about remembering that I am no longer naked. He has clothed me. 
181. Realizing, once again, that lessons don't change, only the method of learning them. Remembering that Christ doesn't change, either, and He is always sufficient. 
182. Afternoons of lazy sun-soaking. The pen moves across paper like train tracks across a prairie, and sun soaking turns to earnest God-soaking.
183. Antique quilts, picnic baskets, red balloons, and ice cream cones to remind me that I have the best job in the world— documenting life and love.
184. The tears that come with will-wrestling. Not good or bad, just there.
185. Classical music on gray, overcast days. 
186. Blueberry muffins with afternoon coffee.
187. Gina Robertson and Mandy Novotny (soon to be Pallock).
188. Morning soul chats, sitting on kitchen counters with french pressed coffee in hand.
189. Waking up to sunlight, windchimes, and birds singing their God-song outside my window.
190. Learning contentment. 
191. Early morning color behind sprawling tree limbs.
192. Hot coffee after a cold nights' sleep.
193. Friends' prayers that impart grace.
194. A three-hour conversation that included the words, "I don't think I'm God's best for you, and I don't think that you're God's best for me." Tears that gripped my core, but that eventually healed the ache.
195. The chance to face a new set of unknowns with renewed joy and strength. Good, healthy re-evaluation. Renewed purpose.
196. Pain and healing that unhinge a once-tense heart. Words that can't hold back.
197. Friends who offer prayer and support, love and encouragement. 
198. The confidence that comes with actively trusting God in something that's hard. I know what it means to say, "God is amazing, and I will do whatever He asks."
199. Watching my best friends walk into my house holding hands with their loves. 
200. The overwhelming sense of grace weighing heavy on me.
201. "A bruised reed He will not break."
202. Sweet Monday morning. 
203. Faith like Abraham, as a gift from the God I love. "No distrust made him waver concerning the promise of God, but he grew strong in faith as he gave glory to God, fully convinced that God was able to do as He promised." 
204. The promise given and received— "there is hope for your future, says the Lord."
205. Straight hair for a moment.
206. Fresh coffee. Sunshine. Being with friends who are in love with each other, and with God.
207. Friends from far-off places arriving late at night.
208. Homemade mints.
209. Dopio con panas. 
210. After much time away, traveling HOME.
211. Henna tattoos.
212. Chasing the moon on a summer's eve, wind in hair, God-joy in heart.
213. His ways are not our ways. And this is redemption.
214. Vivaldi says storms are happy things. I think that God agrees. (Summer Storms, by Antonio Vivaldi)
215. Searching for God, knowing that I will find Him.
216. The smell of boxwoods.
217. Summer-green trees.
218. Yellow sunlight against cool shade.
219. Sunday soul rest.
220. Grace & truth kiss. 
221. Drinking in Jesus with joy and thanksgiving when longing ache creeps in. 
222. "There is hope for your future," declares the Lord. Jeremiah 31:17
223. Sun shine against pouring rain. 
224. Airports. Escalators. People-watching. Traveling. Going places. Returning home. 
225. My job as a wedding photographer.
226. The grace of God, that draws my heart closer to His when my guilt condemns me. 
227. Paper-chain letters.
228. Coffee with Becka. Actually, anytime with Becka.
229. Playing soccer with the boys.
230. Late nights spent laughing with the family.
231. "… the heart set to do the Father's will need never fear defeat." — Elisabeth Elliot
232. Sterling silver earrings from Ireland, with love.
233. Love-longing turns to love-finding Christ.
234. Love stored up, waiting to be poured out.
235. Grace to work through difficult issues on my own, before my God. 
236. Change and depth wrought in my soul.
237. Earl Grey tea.
238. "Be of good courage, Jesus Christ makes you whole." —John Bunyan
239. "The future is as bright as the promises of God." —William Carey
240. "There is a simple confidence with a heart in Jesus where the constant need to prove love is replaced with the assurance that Love is alive." —Steve McGee
241. Random roadtrips.
242. Christ's love for His Church.
243. New lens, new sight, new understanding.
244. Grandma's funeral, a conversation between parents and pastor & his wife, and a text that gives me the freedom to find support and community in a Church a long ways away.
245. Running into CHBC friends in Manitou Springs, CO.
246. Friends that always listen, always pray, always love.
247. The freedom to stay home from Church, the sweetness of personal worship.
248. For friends that understand when I need time to just be alone.
249. Sunday morning prayer and worship on my knees, alone with God in my room.
250. Sugar-free hemp milk iced chai.
251. Kombucha
252. Heart aches that prove my need for Jesus.
253. Clean water.
254. Watered-down coffee and words of gold.
255. Photoshop.
256. Knowing that I don't have to know.
257. Peace of Christ ruling emotions.
258. Colorado's clean air.
259. Watching the sunrise at Garden of the Gods.
260. Seeing light go from cold to warm so quickly.
261. Hot showers after sunrise shoots.
262. Mornings and new grace and fresh air.
263. Broken-in chairs and window light.
264. My cup overflows and Christ restores my soul.
265. Pumpkin spice americanos.
266. Large vintage suitcases for $12.
267. Watching the sky go from dark to rainbow to golden bright.
268. The sun jumping over the edge of the world and shouting hallelujah hellos.
269. That Nana is still living.
270. Empty playgrounds and happy memories on kids toys.
271. Near-empty air mattresses balanced with Amie.
272. Random meetings with very old friends in random coffee shops in a different State.
273. Time with Dad in the airport before boarding separate flights home.
274. Getting caught in the rain with Becka, taking off our shoes and splashing in puddles.
275. Sleepovers— looooooong talks, three dinners, playing dress up, and sweet goodnights.
276. Cold, crisp mornings under warm quilts.
277. 15-minute cleaning breaks.
278. Carrot juice.
279. "Whenever our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and He knows everything."
280. A mother who is not afraid to look me in the eye and tell me to "stop it!"
281. Failure to trust that reminds me that I still need saving.
282. The Cross, that enables my love for others, even when they disappoint and let down.
283. Singleness, and how hard it is, because it requires that I look to Christ for my satisfaction.
284. The simple joy and peace that comes with washing dishes.
285. The holiness of God and the sufficiency of Christ.
286. That I am still single and can look forward to love.
287. My parents— pure hearts and a passion for discipleship.
288. That God is sovereign and I am not.
289. That I actually moved home from Chicago four years ago instead of insisting on staying like I wanted to.
290. That jet lag doesn't bother me much.
291. Rowan & Jocelyn's marriage, and how it makes me long for Christ.
292. That Sundays are Sundays, even in New Zealand.
293. Instant coffee.
294. That I am stronger than I think.
295. Knowing that Christ heals and redeems.
296. For my family, for my parents, and for conversations with others that help me to see just how special my family is.
297. Sunshine and Icebreaker shirts.
298. A country that loves tea, and shares that love.
299. Tay's full-ride scholarship to Mount St. Mary's University. !!!
300. For showers and clean hair, even if the hot water was gone.
301. The Spirit's intercession, because I do not know how to pray as I ought.
302. That Christ's authority reigns supreme in my life, and I know that He will guide me.
303. "BUT GOD..."
304. Grace is shown in kindness.
305. BUNGY JUMPING!!
306. That I don't need thrills like bungy jumping and skydiving to find pleasure in life.
307. An amazing drink called a "long black," which is like an americano with less water and better espresso.
308. For times of prayer and time to process.
309. Jasmine rice.
310. Camping under the stars in New Zealand.
311. Jesus Christ makes me whole.
312. Smuggling gluten-free bread through into Fiji, so that I had something to eat those 6 days.
313. Eating mangos fresh off a tree.
314. Coconut water from a real coconut
315. Coming HOME after a month of International travel.
316. Running errands with my brother, and listening to him talk about his girlfriend, and know just how much he missed me.
317. The Word of God dwelling and the peace of Christ ruling.
318. That life is more than (romantic) love.
319. Amie's love for Ben that teaches me to fall on Christ for fulfillment, and allows me to practice rejoicing with those who rejoice. 
320. Anticipation for next year untouched by dread or regret. 2010 has been a very good year.
321. Knowing, beyond all doubt, that God has the right man for me, and will bring him.
322. Dad willing to cook breakfast for me.
323. Christ the Child, the Man, the God & Savior.
324. Capitol Hill Baptist Church.
325. That I still live with my family.
326. GRACE.
327. Little brothers who ask to do coffee with me.
328. Light spilling onto the Bible in my brother-turned-man's lap, and into his heart.
329. Seeing Christa Wells in concert, and hearing her soul-words turn my heart God-ward.
330. That I still live with my family.
331. Parents that love each other enough to text love messages to each other throughout the day.
332. The ache in my heart from years of wanting love at Christmastime that motivates determined, albeit desperate, pursuit of God for joy. And I find that joy in the ache-time is far sweeter than expected.
333. That I'm still single, and that I have Jesus to press into when life hurts.
334. Clients who become friends.
335. Dogsitting jobs that provide time alone with God to reflect on a year past and prayerfully anticipate the grace of a year to come.
336. Feeling cherished.
337. The ability to cry.
338. Double short americanos.
339. Waking up to sunlight. [!!!]
340. Muscle pain and inflammation to remind me that sin has consequences. When I eat to satisfy lustful hunger, I have pain.
341. Peach tea in pottery mugs.
342. That I can actually hold God's Word in my own hands.
343. An uncertain future that draws my soul to fall on Christ Jesus the Lord.
344. Colossians. The whole book.
345. Journals to remind me of past sin and present grace, and "there is hope for your future, declares the Lord."
346. Sovereign Grace Music— "Tie me to the Rock unchanging and His great redeeming love."
347. A WEBSITE!!!

Want to join in? Become a joy finder? Consider joining the Gratitude Community— just jump in with your own list.
How to begin your own 1000 Gift List :|: How Gratitude Can Change Your Life